1）你是在什么情况下知道自己需要寻求心理帮助的?

一天里有很多次突然间感觉空气稀薄不能呼吸，那种缺氧的感觉似溺水，非常痛苦，身体僵硬也时有发生，发作时双腿完全不能移动，血压会在晚上入睡前突然飙高至200, 心跳加快到140，嘴唇发麻 ，多次救护车送医院，到院后检查各项指标又都正常，最后医生建议我看临床心理科。

与王医生的第一次见面，诊断就准确无误地出来了，我得的是焦虑症中的恐慌症。吃了她开的药之后三天， 症状明显好转。心理疾病是长期压力积累的结果。特别是当我们心里的伤通过身体不健康的方式表现出来后，除了药物治疗外,心理的疗愈也必不可少。

由此我开始了与医生长达八年的心理治疗。

2)和王医生的整个治疗体验是什么?

这是一段令人难忘且充满期待的旅程, 就像阅读一本书, 每次的问诊, 都是对自己过往生活深入的探索, 而你原本对此一无所知。这个充滿不確定的旅程, 是一个疗愈的必经过程. 整个治疗我能重温自己早年所经历过的狂风暴雨。这些暴风骤雨时而令我崩溃大哭, 转眼我又能与之和解，看见依然安好的自己。

3) 你觉得治疗中最有挑战的部分是什么？

我与唯一女儿关系的紧张是我在这段治疗中最大的挑战。她14岁只身离家远渡重洋去国外求学，

我們之間即有中西文化的冲突, 又有两代人之間價值观冲突。由於自身是在缺乏關愛的環境下成長，

我的情感养份及其匮乏, 以为物質上不断給予就是愛的全部. 并不知道愛還需要用有語言來表達。特別与成年后的孩子相處，言語上的尊重与关愛尤其重要。

4)治疗中最有效果的地方是什么？

整个疗愈过程充满了挑战和驚喜。 最让我感恩的是与女儿的关系有了顯著改善。在我一次次泪流满面，

心如死灰坐在王医生跟前诉说与女儿的冲突时，王医生多方尝试最终建议我在与女儿勾通时不防使用一些带有温度话语，如“想你”，”爱你”，”理解你”， 没想到最終这些带有感情色彩的话，竟成为我和女儿关系改善的关键。女儿也会用同样的话语回应，还会邀请我去她家聊天吃饭。我们都曾经因为彼此关系紧张而陷入深深地长久地痛苦之中

5)你觉得自己还需要在哪方面努力？

我是一个敏感内向讨好型人格特质的人, 这些特质常给自己的生活及内心带来极大的焦虑及压抑,

是我需要重点解决的方面。在与女儿相处关系中要敢於表達自己，不回避問題。与人相處時，

遇到不符合自己心意的事情敢于当面拒绝，力求身心合一 ，减少内耗。

6) 当你看到自己的故事被写出来，你的第一感受是什么？

我的故事被医生写出来, 让我看見了另一个自己，一个情感匱乏不善於表達的自己， 曾经那个弱小无助, 在夹缝中求生存的自己被一览无余地呈现了出来，眼见早期的生活經歷是如何一步步塑造出現在的自己，令我震惊。每个人的人生都需要被看见，尤其需要被自己看见, 疗愈才会发生，生命的覺醒才成為可能。

7）最后，你觉得自己最大的收获是什么？

有没有什么建议给也有类似和子女沟通问题情况的家庭作为考虑。我很幸运，在身心失調的危重時刻，我找到了对的方法和对的人。專業人士的參與，让我少走彎路，也減少了內耗。數年的心理问诊，喚醒了我的內在，由此也有了反观自己思想与行為的能力。之前我的亲朋好友都一致认为我是一个最疼爱女儿的母亲，我也自认如此，可女儿的感受却完全相反，她认为我是一个要求很严，控制欲很强的母亲。

为什么双方的感受大相径庭。父母對儿女的的疼爱從嬰兒時期开始就是不停息物质上的喂养与给予, 随着儿女的长大，个人自主意识的成熟，成年后的他们主体需求已發生变化，更多的需求是被尊重，被共情, 被理解，被鼓励 。而这时的父母并没有改变与孩子们的主要相处模式，这导致了许多的矛盾和冲突 。如果遇到此类困难的父母能够主动学习一些心理学，或寻求心理医生的帮助，这些矛盾也一定能够妥善解决。

1) How did you realize you needed to seek mental health support?

I started having these terrifying episodes—many times a day, I’d suddenly feel like the air had thinned and I couldn’t breathe, like I was drowning. It was agonizing. My body would freeze up; sometimes I couldn’t move my legs at all. At night, right before sleep, my blood pressure would spike to 200, my heart would race to 140, and my lips would go numb. I was rushed to the ER by ambulance more than once, but every time, all the tests came back normal. Eventually, one doctor gently suggested I see a psychiatrist.

At my very first visit with Dr. Wang, she diagnosed me accurately with panic disorder—an anxiety condition. Just three days after starting the medication she prescribed, I began to feel significantly better. Mental illness is often the result of long-term, accumulated stress. And when our emotional wounds start showing up in our bodies, medication alone isn’t enough—emotional healing becomes just as important.

That’s how I began my eight-year journey of psychotherapy with Dr. Wang.

2) What was your experience like working with Dr. Wang?

It was unforgettable—and something I always looked forward to. Each session felt like reading a page from a book about myself. I was exploring parts of my life I had never truly examined. The process was full of uncertainty, but it was necessary for healing. In therapy, I was able to revisit the storms of my early years. Sometimes I cried uncontrollably; other times, I found peace. I learned that I could survive those storms—and even befriend them.

3) What was the hardest part of therapy?

The biggest challenge was facing the tension in my relationship with my only daughter. She left home at 14 to study abroad. That physical distance only deepened the cultural and generational rifts between us. Having grown up in an emotionally deprived environment, I believed love was shown by providing materially. I didn’t realize love also needed to be spoken—with words. Especially when your child becomes an adult, emotional expression and mutual respect matter even more.

4) What part of the therapy was most effective?

This journey was full of difficulties—but also surprises. What I’m most grateful for is the healing of my relationship with my daughter. I remember sitting across from Dr. Wang, in tears, feeling hopeless after each conflict with her. Dr. Wang encouraged me to try something new: to use warmer, more emotional language—like “I miss you,” “I love you,” and “I understand you.”

I was skeptical, but I tried. And to my surprise, those words opened the door. My daughter began saying them back. She even started inviting me over to chat and share meals. We had both suffered deeply in the silence between us. And now, we’re building something different.

5) What do you think you still need to work on?

I’ve come to realize that I’m a sensitive, introverted person with strong people-pleasing tendencies. These traits often cause me internal stress and anxiety, and they’re things I need to work through. With my daughter, I’m learning to speak up for myself and not avoid hard conversations. In all relationships, I’m trying to set clearer boundaries—saying no when I need to—and working toward inner alignment and less emotional exhaustion.

6) How did it feel to see your story written out?

Reading my story, as written by Dr. Wang, was like meeting another version of myself. I saw a woman who struggled to express emotions, who had grown up feeling emotionally starved, who had learned to survive in the cracks of life. It was shocking to see how clearly my early life had shaped who I am today. But it also made me realize something: every person needs to be seen—especially by themselves. That’s where healing begins. That’s how we awaken.

7) What would you say has been your biggest takeaway—and do you have any advice for others facing similar parent-child struggles?

I feel incredibly fortunate that, in the depths of physical and emotional crisis, I found the right help. Having a professional guide made all the difference—it helped me avoid years of unnecessary suffering. Over time, therapy helped me awaken from within. I developed the ability to reflect on my thoughts and behaviors—something I didn’t know I lacked.

People used to say I was a devoted mother, and I believed it too. But my daughter saw me differently—she thought I was strict, controlling. That shocked me.

Why such a gap between our perspectives? I think it’s because, from infancy, parents often show love through nonstop material care. But as children grow and develop their own sense of self, what they need changes. They want respect. Empathy. Understanding. Encouragement. When parents don’t shift their approach, conflict is inevitable.

If you’re a parent struggling in this way, I encourage you to learn some basic psychology—or talk to a mental health professional. These relationships can heal. Mine did.